How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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