dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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