She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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