I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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