I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
