What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
