Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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