The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is Oprah even human
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
