I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize