I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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