god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What drink are we having for lunch?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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