these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
