Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
