do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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