My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
