I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
