the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
