I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
