my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize