Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
