i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
