none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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