He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
