I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize