Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
