Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
honey bunches of taint.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
