its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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