at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
