omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize