oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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