I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
