haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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