I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
