I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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