"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
