Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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