he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
