Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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