I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
this hospital has no fireball
be right there i have to get my cape
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
