is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
