nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
