matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Randomize