I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
