girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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