Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
birth control should be required to get into college
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
