the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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