Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
