Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize