is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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