I heard we made out
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
