well I can't set my house on fire every night
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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