apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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