I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
