i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
