how can u be prego again
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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