Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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