I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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